


Understanding

by falsteloj



Category: Bletchley Circle
Genre: Angst, F/F, Female Characters, Female Protagonist, Female-Centric, Gen, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Obscure and British Commentfest, United Kingdom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 18:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/814804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsteloj/pseuds/falsteloj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet written for the Obscure & British Comment Fest. The prompt was 'Millie, Sexuality'.</p><p>[ Fest Link: http://lost-spook.livejournal.com/325603.html ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Understanding

"Is that what men like?" Lucy asks, voice small and frightened, when they hear the contents of the postmortem reports.   
  
It's all Millie can do to force a smile for her, because though it's meant to be reassuring, comforting, it feels brittle around the edges - strained by memories of men who crowd too close to her, for all that they live on far flung continents.   
  
Lucy knows better than most, perhaps, how vile a man's pleasures can be, yet she doesn't question the ring on her finger nor the straightforwardness of convention. Even later, after Harry has left her black and blue, there is no light of understanding in her eyes when Jean's housewarming present makes Millie talk too freely of potential alternatives.  
  
Jean understands those alternatives very well, Millie thinks, though they have never spoken of it openly. There had been whispered accusations, of course, back at Bletchley Park, but things were different during the war. Allowances can be made more readily, it seems, when all around bombs are dropping.  
  
Susan, well, Susan understands everything. Always has done. But all that's in the past now, and idle talk too often still proves dangerous. Not that it makes it any easier. She smiles at Timothy, and fusses over the children, and tries not to think that once they had been going to explore the world together. Once, it was they who had promised to be  _together_.  
  
Because Millie had been the one not to understand all those years ago. Had sent postcard after postcard, even after it should have been abundantly clear that Susan wasn't going to join her later. Wasn't ready to admit that she could never be ordinary.   
  
"But you must have been engaged at some time," is what Lucy says one night, sweet innocence, as Millie shares those stories from the Far East that don't leave her with nightmares. "You're so very pretty."  
  
Millie smiles in response, brittle all over again, and downs her drink to swallow back all the things she shouldn't say.   
  
In some matters, she thinks as they retire to their separate beds, understanding can prove just as much of a curse as a blessing.

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, feel free to chat / hit me with prompts over on Tumblr [@serenwib](http://serenwib.tumblr.com/) or Twitter [@falsteloj](https://twitter.com/falsteloj). :)


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